UNDERSTANDING WOMEN

'Cash, check or charge?' I asked, after folding items the woman wished to purchase.

As she fumbled for her wallet , I noticed a remote control for a television set in her purse.

'So, do you always carry your TV remote?' I asked.

'No,' she replied, 'but my husband refused to come shopping with me,

And I figured this was the most evil thing I could do to him legally.'


UNDERSTANDING WOMEN

(A MAN'S PERSPECTIVE)

I know I'm not going to understand women.

I'll never understand how you can take boiling hot wax,

Pour it onto your upper thigh, rip the hair out by the root,

And still be afraid of a spider.


MARRIAGE SEMINAR

While attending a Marriage Seminar dealing with communication,

Tom and his wife Grace listened to the instructor,

'It is essential that husbands and wives know each other's likes and dislikes.'

He addressed the man,

'Can you name your wife's favorite flower?'

Tom leaned over, touched his wife's arm gently and whispered, 'It's Self - Raising, isn't it?


CIGARETTES AND TAMPONS

A man walks into a pharmacy and wanders up & down the aisles...

The sales girl notices him and asks him if she can help him.

He answers that he is looking for a box of tampons for his wife..

She directs him down the correct aisle.

A few minutes later, he deposits a huge bag of cotton balls and a ball of string on the counter.

She says, confused, 'Sir, I thought you were looking for some tampons for your wife?

He answers, 'You see, it's like this, yesterday, I sent my wife to the store

To get me a carton of cigarettes, and she came back with a tin of tobacco

And some rolling papers; cause it's sooo-ooo--oo- ooo much cheaper.

So, I figure if I have to roll my own .......... So does she.  


WIFE VS. HUSBAND

A couple drove down a country road for several miles, not saying a word.

An earlier discussion had led to an argument and

Neither of them wanted to concede their position.

As they passed a barnyard of mules, goats, and pigs,

The husband asked sarcastically, 'Relatives of yours?'

'Yep,' the wife replied, 'in-laws.'


WORDS

A husband read an article to his wife about how many words women use a day...

30,000 to a man's 15,000.

The wife replied, 'The reason has to be because we have to repeat everything to men...

The husband then turned to his wife and asked, 'What?'



CREATION

A man said to his wife one day, 'I don't know how you can be

So stupid and so beautiful all at the same time.

'The wife responded, 'Allow me to explain.

God made me beautiful so you would be attracted to me;

God made me stupid so I would be attracted to you !


WHO DOES WHAT  

A man and his wife were having an argument about who  

Should brew the coffee each morning.  

The wife said, 'You should do it because you get up first,  

And then we don't have to wait as long to get our coffee.  

The husband said, 'You are in charge of cooking around here and  

You should do it, because that is your job, and I can just wait for my coffee.'  

Wife replies, 'No, you should do it, and besides, it is in the Bible that the man should do the coffee.'  

Husband replies, 'I can't believe that, show me.'  

So she fetched the Bible, and opened the New Testament and showed him at the top of several pages, that it indeed says 'HEBREWS'  


The Silent Treatment

A man and his wife were having some problems at home

and were giving each other the silent treatment.

Suddenly, the man realized that the next day, he would need his wife to wake him

at 5:0 0 AM for an early morning business flight.

Not wanting to be the first to break the silence (and LOSE), he wrote on a piece of paper,
'Please wake me at 5:00 AM.' He left it where he knew she would find it.

The next morning, the man woke up, only to discover it was 9:00 AM and he had missed his flight Furious, he was about to go and see why his wife hadn't wakened him,
when he noticed a piece of paper by the bed.

The paper said, 'It is 5:00 AM. Wake up.'

Men are not equipped for these kinds of contests.

I hope that things are much better in reality.

That was a good post, lol, Thanks for the share.

Nice post, I got some ideas to think about :)

Makes me laugh but don't think I'll be sharing with the wife :)

That one is worth reading thanks.

It is hard to understand women. You just have to love them.

I don't understand women and I am serious. I have tried very much but I failed.

whuahhahahah.. The first lines are funny though anyway woman are sometimes hard to understand specially when they have there period

can't live with 'em. can't live without 'em!

Best way to understand women is not to try, give them diamonds and chocolates. And flowers. That'll score you plenty of points.

To tell u you truth, u can never 100% understand a woman, and woman is not supposed to understood but loved!

Were not supposed to understand women. The sooner you figure it out the happier you'll be

You dont need to understand physics behind sunset to enjoy the view...

that is so true!!!

very nice post...it made me laugh :D

nice post.

keep love your partner...

Thanks for sharing such a Hilarious post.........

well yeah, but as time goes, you'll learn to adjust, as well as the woman to a man..

Someone mentioned we are not suppose to understand women...  Gotta agree with that and I have given up.  I have to note that even girls are hard to understand, my son, I "get" it, my daughter....mostly lost.

You'll never understand women. They're an alien species beamed in from a planet where different rules of logic apply. ;)

Very funny lol.

Very Nice Post thanks for sharing

Your post will really help all the members to know the nature of a woman.

Very happy to come here.

who want to understand woman deeply, that one should also know dictionary of woman



A woman's dictionary

Argument (ar*gyou*ment) n. A discussion that occurs when you're right, but he just hasn't realized it yet.

Airhead (er*hed) n. What a woman intentionally becomes when pulled over by a policeman.

Bar-be-que (bar*bi*q) n. You bought the groceries, washed the lettuce, chopped the tomatoes, diced the onions, marinated the meat and cleaned everything up, but, he, "made the dinner."

Blonde jokes (blond joks) n. Jokes that are short so men can understand them.

Cantaloupe (kant*e*lope) n. Gotta get married in a church.

Clothes dryer (kloze dri*yer) n. An appliance designed to eat socks.

Diet Soda (dy*it so*da) n. A drink you buy at a convenience store to go with a half pound bag of peanut M&Ms.

Eternity (e*ter*ni*tee) n. The last two minutes of a football game.

Exercise (ex*er*siz) v. To walk up and down a mall, occasionally resting to make a purchase.

Grocery List (grow*ser*ee list) n. What you spend half an hour writing, then forget to take with you to the store.

Hair Dresser (hare dres*er) n. Someone who is able to create a style you will never be able to duplicate again. See "Magician."

Hardware Store (hard*war stor) n. Similar to a black hole in space-if he goes in, he isn't coming out anytime soon.

Childbirth (child*brth) n. You get to go through 36 hours of contractions; he gets to hold your hand and say "focus,...breath...push..."

Lipstick (lip*stik) n. On your lips, coloring to enhance the beauty of your mouth. On his collar, coloring only a tramp would wear...!

Park (park) v./n. Before children, a verb meaning, "to go somewhere and neck." After children, a noun meaning a place with a swing set and slide.

Patience (pa*shens) n. The most important ingredient for dating, marriage and children. See also "tranquilizers."

Waterproof Mascara (wah*tr*pruf mas*kar*ah) n. Comes off if you cry, shower, or swim, but will not come off if you try to remove it.

Valentine's Day (val*en*tinez dae) n. A day when you have dreams of a candlelight dinner, diamonds, and romance, but consider yourself lucky to get a card

Women. Can't live em can't live without em. It's too much to worry about trying to understand women, just be cool man.

Two blondes lock thier keys in the car. One of the blondes tries to break into the car while the the other one watches.

Finally the first blonde says "Darn, I can't get in the car!" The other blond replies, "Keep trying, it looks like it is going to rain and the top is down".

Sex toys that bite back, an SEO test!

Thanks for sharing the great information :D :D

Baggs Family, Coat of Arms, Name & History WEBDIGITY TEST SEO
Blonde and Shepherd

Once upon a time there was a blonde with long hair, blue eyes. She was sick of all the blonde jokes.

One day, she decided to get a make over, so she cut and dyed her hair.

She also went out and bought a new convertible.

She went driving down a country road and came across a herd of sheep.

She stopped and called the shepherd over.

"That's a nice flock of sheep.", she said.

"Well thank you.", said the herder. "Tell you what. I have a proposition for you.", said the woman.

"Okay.", replied the herder.

"If I can guess the exact number of sheep in your flock, can I take one home?", asked the woman. "Sure.", said the shepherd.

So, the girl sat up and looked at the herd for a second and then replied, "382".

"Wow.", said the herder. "That is exactly right.

Go ahead and pick out the sheep you want to take home."

So the woman went and picked one out and put it in her car.

Upon watching this, the herder approached the woman and offered, "Okay, now I have a proposition for you".

"What is it?", queried the woman.

"If I can guess the real color of your hair... can I have my dog back?"

hahaha i love it.

i liked the spider part a lot its really hilarious.

All you need is lots of money and some beautiful female friends and your wife will stay in check....

Nice post.
but understanding of woman is not possible.
it is a trouble work.

Two blondes were talking. "How can I find out how long I sleep?", asked one. "Take a ruler to bed with you," replied the other. "That's silly", said the first, "where can I find a King around here?"

How it is possible dear.

She was so blonde... when a job application said, "Sign here", she wrote "Gemini".

ok buddy.

i was laughing really hard. women are really unpredictable but really special in many ways.

You can't understand them really, you can just control them by your love and attention.

fun post!  well worth reading!

Women and Understanding.... R u Kidding me? :P

It's sort of like an aspiration... not a reality!

sorry girl but no one fathom

I should thank you for posting this

good post!

I like the first story regarding the woman who carried with her the remote control. I like to do it  because my brother is addicted to television. He sleeps late at night because he is fond of watching movies from it.  Is this a good idea?

Ha! The Silent Treatment one was something... I might try it sometimes... :))

Listen to what she has to say. This requires staying silent on your part. You have probably conditioned yourself to look as though you're listening when, in fact, your mind is somewhere else completely. It's time to stop such disrespectful behavior and get used to giving the woman in your life your undivided attention. All you have to do is listen. Most of the time you don't even have to give any advice because all she wants is to know that you care. Just listening intently is enough, and doing so will be warmly appreciated. :)

Glad it helps! :)

How?

women are lovely.

I found it quite a laugh. but it does really happen, from a woman's point of view. I think women are very unpredictable. There are a lot of theories that may support this.