Article: How To Make Your Business Fail In 10 Days Or Less

Hello Everyone. I'm new here. Thought I'd start by sharing an article I wrote yesterday. Let me know what you think. My friend read it and laughed while telling me I'm crazy. lol.

How To Make Your Business Fail In Ten Days

1. Do get a web page at a cheap hosting site. Preferrably a free place that will put there banners and ads all over diminishing anything you are trying to sell.

2. Do put up your own banners everywhere making it hard to navigate and hard for anyone to not get a headache just looking at the main page. After all we don't want them coming back.

3. Do make make sure that when a visitor clicks on a link and goes to another page, they have no way of getting back to the main of your site. We want them so hopelessly lost they have no choice but to go elsewhere. We don't want to have repeat customers do we?

4. Make the background and text virtually the same color so that prospective visitors have to squint themselves into oblivion just to make out a letter.

5. Also be sure to make the text so small they will have wonder if there actually looking at specks of dirt instead of words.

6. Don't ever get a mailing list. We don't want those nosy people to be able to find you or your website again do we?

7. Do get a GIGANTIC, colorful logo or text. Make sure it spins, spits fire, dazzles, and confuses your audience. That way they will be so hypnotized they'll forget there own name AND your website address. And speaking of web address...

8. Don't get a short, easily remembered address. Get an address so long it will be three sentences long when put in ms word and be rejected by most search engines.

9. Under no circumstances do you submit your site to any search engines. By submitting your website you are making it to easy for people to find your business. We want them to work for it. Why should you do all the hard stuff and they just stroll in? Give them a challenge. People like that.

10. Do not ever put your website address in your email signature, on tshirts, pens/pencils, coffee mugs or other good advertising products. If you do that then word of mouth might start and you will have all this traffic coming onto your webpage and we are trying to avoid that aren't we?

11. Most of all, and this is the most important, Do not tell ANYONE about your business website. It's a secret, so treat it as one. Don't put it in your forum signature, in your blog, in articles, or advertisements offline. That means no search engines, adsense, adwords, or overture. This is your secret so keep it close to your vest.

Follow all these rules and in less than 10 days you can sit and reap the sweet victory of having a failed business, no income and no customers. Good Luck.

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First of all welcome to our small community Bworms.

Nice article, I allways wonder how I can ruin everything.

Thanks

9. Under no circumstances do you submit your site to any search engines. By submitting your website you are making it to easy for people to find your business. We want them to work for it. Why should you do all the hard stuff and they just stroll in? Give them a challenge. People like that.

Haha thats awesome. Yeah, everyone sucks. STAY AWAY FROM MY SITE!

[SEO Voter]

LOL... I think that you need a disclaimer at the end of all that! HAHA...

Thats rediculus.  I hope everyone does this

Im getting 15 or so hits per day from google.  Its kinda nice. 

I liked number 7 the best. How great is it to have an animated image doing something again and again and again and again just on the edge of your vision! It would be like a challenge to see if you could ignore it and do something else. I will have to get one double quick.

I really need to apply all this to all my websites, sheech, I was going in the wrong direction!

hahaha

Whod'a thought that its possible to completely fuck up your site?

NOT ME!

Whod'a thought that its possible to completely fuck up your site?

NOT ME!

I think we all did that to our own first websites :-)

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I think we all did that to our own first websites :-)

Yes that's true, and actually it is the only way to learn....

Whod'a thought that its possible to completely fuck up your site?

NOT ME!

I think we all did that to our own first websites :-)

Ah, brings back some memories... my first site was about everything in general and nothing in particular (a.k.a. fancy link dump). May it R.I.P.

How to make your site work?:
Go to <<snipped>> and have a look at the site build it program, i use it, its awesome.

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