UNDERSTANDING WOMEN

'Cash, check or charge?' I asked, after folding items the woman wished to purchase.

As she fumbled for her wallet , I noticed a remote control for a television set in her purse.

'So, do you always carry your TV remote?' I asked.

'No,' she replied, 'but my husband refused to come shopping with me,

And I figured this was the most evil thing I could do to him legally.'


UNDERSTANDING WOMEN

(A MAN'S PERSPECTIVE)

I know I'm not going to understand women.

I'll never understand how you can take boiling hot wax,

Pour it onto your upper thigh, rip the hair out by the root,

And still be afraid of a spider.


MARRIAGE SEMINAR

While attending a Marriage Seminar dealing with communication,

Tom and his wife Grace listened to the instructor,

'It is essential that husbands and wives know each other's likes and dislikes.'

He addressed the man,

'Can you name your wife's favorite flower?'

Tom leaned over, touched his wife's arm gently and whispered, 'It's Self - Raising, isn't it?


CIGARETTES AND TAMPONS

A man walks into a pharmacy and wanders up & down the aisles...

The sales girl notices him and asks him if she can help him.

He answers that he is looking for a box of tampons for his wife..

She directs him down the correct aisle.

A few minutes later, he deposits a huge bag of cotton balls and a ball of string on the counter.

She says, confused, 'Sir, I thought you were looking for some tampons for your wife?

He answers, 'You see, it's like this, yesterday, I sent my wife to the store

To get me a carton of cigarettes, and she came back with a tin of tobacco

And some rolling papers; cause it's sooo-ooo--oo- ooo much cheaper.

So, I figure if I have to roll my own .......... So does she.  


WIFE VS. HUSBAND

A couple drove down a country road for several miles, not saying a word.

An earlier discussion had led to an argument and

Neither of them wanted to concede their position.

As they passed a barnyard of mules, goats, and pigs,

The husband asked sarcastically, 'Relatives of yours?'

'Yep,' the wife replied, 'in-laws.'


WORDS

A husband read an article to his wife about how many words women use a day...

30,000 to a man's 15,000.

The wife replied, 'The reason has to be because we have to repeat everything to men...

The husband then turned to his wife and asked, 'What?'



CREATION

A man said to his wife one day, 'I don't know how you can be

So stupid and so beautiful all at the same time.

'The wife responded, 'Allow me to explain.

God made me beautiful so you would be attracted to me;

God made me stupid so I would be attracted to you !


WHO DOES WHAT  

A man and his wife were having an argument about who  

Should brew the coffee each morning.  

The wife said, 'You should do it because you get up first,  

And then we don't have to wait as long to get our coffee.  

The husband said, 'You are in charge of cooking around here and  

You should do it, because that is your job, and I can just wait for my coffee.'  

Wife replies, 'No, you should do it, and besides, it is in the Bible that the man should do the coffee.'  

Husband replies, 'I can't believe that, show me.'  

So she fetched the Bible, and opened the New Testament and showed him at the top of several pages, that it indeed says 'HEBREWS'  


The Silent Treatment

A man and his wife were having some problems at home

and were giving each other the silent treatment.

Suddenly, the man realized that the next day, he would need his wife to wake him

at 5:0 0 AM for an early morning business flight.

Not wanting to be the first to break the silence (and LOSE), he wrote on a piece of paper,
'Please wake me at 5:00 AM.' He left it where he knew she would find it.

The next morning, the man woke up, only to discover it was 9:00 AM and he had missed his flight Furious, he was about to go and see why his wife hadn't wakened him,
when he noticed a piece of paper by the bed.

The paper said, 'It is 5:00 AM. Wake up.'

Men are not equipped for these kinds of contests.

I hope that things are much better in reality.

That was a good post, lol, Thanks for the share.

Nice post, I got some ideas to think about

Makes me laugh but don't think I'll be sharing with the wife

That one is worth reading thanks.

It is hard to understand women. You just have to love them.

I don't understand women and I am serious. I have tried very much but I failed.

whuahhahahah.. The first lines are funny though anyway woman are sometimes hard to understand specially when they have there period

can't live with 'em. can't live without 'em!

Best way to understand women is not to try, give them diamonds and chocolates. And flowers. That'll score you plenty of points.

To tell u you truth, u can never 100% understand a woman, and woman is not supposed to understood but loved!

Were not supposed to understand women. The sooner you figure it out the happier you'll be

You dont need to understand physics behind sunset to enjoy the view...

Were not supposed to understand women. The sooner you figure it out the happier you'll be

that is so true!!!

very nice post...it made me laugh

nice post.

keep love your partner...

Thanks for sharing such a Hilarious post.........

well yeah, but as time goes, you'll learn to adjust, as well as the woman to a man..

Someone mentioned we are not suppose to understand women...  Gotta agree with that and I have given up.  I have to note that even girls are hard to understand, my son, I "get" it, my daughter....mostly lost.

You'll never understand women. They're an alien species beamed in from a planet where different rules of logic apply.

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